New Years Resolutions
1. Stop making New Years Resolutions
2. Eat more Oysters & Boiled Peanuts
Individually or at the same time, never a bad thing
3. Egg every car I see texting while driving making sure to get a picture that I can then post to Facebook
4. Drink more coffee, if God wanted us to sleep he wouldn't have given us expresso or half gallon coffee cups
5. Use more Southern Coloqualisms when speaking to customers. Just not enough Y'alls, Fixin To's, Skedaddles and Dagnabbits in the world.
6. Use more humble brags, just because sadly I'm good at it.
7. Goes with #6- Always refer to myself in the third person. Ricky Sweat thinks Ricky Sweat be almost as good looking as last year, y'all.
8. Leave more thoughts unfinished, walk away from conversations after beginning a deep thought, this makes people.............
9. Try to keep telemarketers on the phone for at least 5-10 minutes before telling them what your doing.... nothing will get you off their lists faster.
10. Call people more food names
Because nothing makes you feel more creeped out, than a 6' 5" 300lb. guy you don't know calling you Sweetie Pie, Muffin or my favorite Sugar Britches.
Ricky Sweat says Happy New Year lambchops.
I hope All Y'all have a safe and most .........